Does the picture above "look like you, or a woman that you know or a woman you've dated?"
This is a candid blog about "a matter" that has been on my mind for years. It's bothered me because I've always "tried to be friendly with women" however whenever I'm a "man's next or ex" I always run into a "shitload" of dramatic, insecure, overbearing, often disloyal women who attempt to attack me and defame my character, based "all on assumptions!"
There's been a "few" incidents where a woman was " 20% accurate" regarding my intentions or actions and even then she was still 80% wrong because "her proof (I.e., supporting documentation) and timing was 100% inaccurate!"
I'm a "woman" I've always handled my business like a woman.
Now with that being said, I believe that "most" women "feel threatened" by other women, especially the "exes and besties" because
1. There's a certain level of "self esteem" she lacks.
2. She "feels" as though the "ex or bestie" is her "intern." She believes that this woman comes with "novice aspects but she's overall *experienced* in dealing with him (the job), but capable of handling any additional tasks; therefore at a moment's notice she could be replaced by her or cheated on with her.
3. She "doesn't know any detailed information about her" and that makes her a "Threat!" like how long ago they dated, if they actually dated or if they were simply friends and/ or sex partners. She doesn't know if he loved her and if she knows he "loved her" she's not certain in what capacity. Did he "love her commonly" as if "loving thy neighbor?" Did he love her, as in "he cared for her" or was did he LOVE her as in he was in love with her and he loved her.
4. She can't "stop" this woman from appearing or being around and it's irritating to her. She doesn't want this woman in his life, period.
5. She "used to be that *type* of woman, so she "assumes" this woman is that *type* as well. Meaning she may have played around with the "Friend zone" in her past (that he's aware or possibly unaware of) and that's why she can't "understand at all" why you'd want to be "Friendly" with an ex, unless there was sex or money involved.
6. She assumes you "no longer" need, want or find her attractive. She believes if you "have" a female friend or friends then you don't "need" her.
7. She wants to "control" you meanwhile she's doing, saying, and screwing (in some cases) whoever, whenever, however she wants to.
8. She simply wants to see "how much you love her!" She doesn't know how to "say that" so she says "everything but that."
9. This one I'm still "shaky" about because I don't believe it 100%, although I have a few trusted sources that makes me believe it 80%. She doesn't have "a male friend (Ex or bestie) like that, especially not the one or ones she has a child or children with. If you "don't know the two of them" you won't know they ever knew each other and that's "threatening"
My suggestion is this "do what works best for you!" Everyone has a past, present and future. Each person that you encounter in life has a part in making you the person you were, are and will be! I believe that we as women have to learn to be more "confident, accepting and buoyant!" Many of us ask people, especially the males we are in relationships or situation-ships that we haven't and wouldn't do ourselves.
There has to be clear and concise explanation of expectations. There has to be compromise. There also has to be consistency of execution.
I'm not saying "be a pushover!" I'm also not saying, be ignorant.
I am saying don't be insecure. I am saying "if you aren't pleased with the results, change the actions!" If you really "believe" that she's a problem and you simply "aren't willing to compete with or accept her presence" then you have "sound" decisions to make.
What if the shoe were on the other foot? What if there was a male in your life that you'd had a relationship with that didn't work out completely, but a friendship was maintained? What if your man "harassed you" about your male friend(s) or ex(es)?
All I'm saying is "question yourself, self esteem, status, actions and intentions" before questioning him and his.
Honestly, many of you women "make" women who are truly "a non factor and a non threat" a factor and an extreme threat, with your insecurities and interrogations.
**FYI: Men DO NOT do what their "told" to do in regards to "handling a woman." A man does what "he needs to do and what is right in his eyes" in regards to "handling a woman."
Men don't care "anything" about your ex, because a "man" knows that if you're ignorant enough to "go back; especially intimately" to someone you claim wasn't "sufficient" enough in the past, then you're not sufficient enough for his present or future and he'll move on!
The only time a man will even engage in a conversation about an ex is if there's child/ren involved that he's involved with or connected to also, or the ex has posed a "direct" threat; as in his home.
Now a "boy" will act a fool about "any and every man" that you encounter. He'll question you constantly, he'll follow you around, he may even be physically abusive to you by hitting you, taking your vehicle, money (against your will) etc. He may even try to force you to stay (despite him saying he wants you to leave). **
Be confident in your position (capacity), know your jurisdiction. Know when to fight harder and when to get out the ring! You can only fight with someone whose willing to get in the ring with you!
HBIC_PHILANTHROPY
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