#FindAvonte I just signed the petition to demand FBI to investigate the Avonte Oquendo disappearance. Sign the petition and share, let's bring Avonte home..

Hey,

I just signed the petition "Michael Grimm and Governor Andrew Cuomo and Commissioner Ray Kelly: Demand FBI to investigate the Avonte Oquendo disappearance.  Help bring Avonte home." and wanted to see if you could help by adding your name.

Our goal is to reach 500 signatures and we need more support. You can read more and sign the petition here:

https://www.change.org/petitions/michael-grimm-and-governor-andrew-cuomo-and-commissioner-ray-kelly-demand-fbi-to-investigate-the-avonte-oquendo-disappearance-help-bring-avonte-home?share_id=ipRFczqyER

#FindAvonte

Women Winning vs Girl Power

Throughout my life I've found it difficult to be amicable or co exist with "girls" - immature, insecure, conniving, unstable, disloyal, overly dramatic, desperate females regardless of their age - for one reason or another. I have tried and have failed miserably, with these type of females. 

Yet, whenever I encounter "women" - mature, confident, stable, caring, uplifting, loyal, faithful, understanding, accommodating, humble, females regardless of their age - I've always had good, if not wonderful interactions, experiences and blessings.

I am a woman by definition .

wom·an www.dictionary.com 

  [woom-uhn]  Show IPA

noun, plural wom·en  [wim-in]  Show IPA .

1.

the female human being (distinguished from man ).

2.

an adult female person.

3.

a female attendant to a lady of rank.

4.

a wife.

5.

the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.

wom·an www.merriam-webster.com

 noun \ˈwu̇-mən, especially Southern ˈwō- or ˈwə-\

: an adult female human being

: a woman who has a specified job or position

: all women thought of as a group

I no longer have the 'intellectual, spiritual, or physical' capacity to acknowledge, accommodate, socialize or partner in any way with girls. 

I am only open to relationships with women, because 'birds of a feather flock together' 

Now that doesn't mean that I won't have any 'girls' somewhere in my life, but I'm not looking to recruit or retain any new ones for sure. 

Women Winning are always going the extra mile for the greater good. They make conscious decisions and are accountable and consistent at seeing them from beginning to end. 

Women Winning are the women who've come into my life and played a part in me becoming the woman I am today. 

My Women Winning have not only clothed, fed, housed, disciplined, and supported me; they've loved me not unconditionally, but with expectations. The expectation of me becoming the best version of myself I can be and as I say 'maximizing on my full potential.' 

To this day some of my women winning who were mentors remain in my life; a few of my exes mother's; women I've met randomly or through jobs, these are my examples of 'women winning.' 

Now the 'girls' I've dealt with have always become envious of me for one reason or another; many of these 'girls' will never admit to it; but 'actions or lack thereof speak louder than words.' 

I encourage you to decide as a 'female' who you really are to your core, and where you stand in your life. 

Do you represent Girl Power or Women Winning?

HBIC PHILANTHROPY 

"Stop enabling babies to have babies" Learn more at:

PSA PARENTING 

Once you stop enabling 'babies to have babies' we'll have more adults raising children. 

I'll never understand parents who allow their babies to have babies that they raise and support. You have failed miserably at educating. Babies, I.e., an inexperienced, irresponsible, impulsive, unaccountable, insecure, inconsistent individual. Per my definition... 

Parents are a child's first teacher = educator of all things. Parents also reinforce or deny what's learned at school and in the world. 

If your child has NEVER had a job on the mid-level, NEVER lived on their own, etc. why condone them having a child they're unprepared for?

Then ya'll glorify being a grandparent especially a lot of 'these proud single mothers' to the extent it's sickening because you're knowingly continuing a negative cycle of broken homes. 

IJS What are you teaching them? What does that mean for a young man like Jr? are 'your grandchildren and their parents' his prospective in-laws? If, so the pickings are slim to none and we've got reformation to do. 

You have taught your child that not only is it 'okay' to have unprotected sex, it's 'okay' to have a child or children with someone they in most cases haven't had a committed long term relationship with and don't intend on having one with. 

You have taught your son that it's okay to 'make children' when at core, he's a child himself. 

I mean are you not still 'paying his bills, preparing his meals, washing his clothes, pleading his case, dealing with the child or children's mother on his behalf, raising his children and more?

You have taught your daughter that it's okay to 'make children' when at core, she's a child herself. 

You have taught her that it's okay to have unprotected sex  and make children because she'll be 'praised' for her 'bundle of joy' she'll be 'showered with attention and gifts' she'll also be taught how to 'file and collect child support' to 'support' this child meanwhile defaming and bringing down the father in the name of 'single parenting' 

That part really get's to me.... it get's to me because my mother taught me that women are 98% responsible b/c without our wombs, a man's sperm is powerless. 

It's called 100% conscious decisions. She also explained the logic behind a woman deciding to 'have a child and raise it' comes from being prepared herself to handle it from start to finish. 

Having the father be around, providing, etc.. is of course what she and all women wanted, but realistically it may not happen and having a child shouldn't be based on 'what may happen or what you want to happen' it should be entirely based on what you can make happen via your faith in Christ that strengthens you! 

She then explained that had having me been based solely on her 'keeping my father, him being there how she wanted him to, etc.' she would not have had me. She hadn't had the type of foundation established with him that she wanted prior to having me, but she had faith in God and what he could do through her. 

She decided that she would have me because she knew she could provide for me and she knew that in the event she couldn't, she'd encourage and prepare my father to do so without involving a third party. She told me the 'moment and not a second later' that he gave her the impression he didn't want to be 'a father to his child' he would have never saw me again ... now why that didn't happen is another blog post LOL 

However, what I gathered from my tumultuous upbringing is that my mother knew going in that my father wasn't the 'homebody' type, however she knew that despite his 'infidelity' there was a 'loyal' side to him. She knew that he'd do 'what he could' and that was most important to her. She didn't stress about all the things she wanted him to do, but instead taught me how to be grateful for what he did do, because that's obviously all he could do and even if it wasn't "what and how much was he supposed to do? Did i think he owed me his life?" 

She said "your family owes you nothing, but love, and even that's within reason!" 

She also taught me the men and especially the women of God - the strongest - are the ones who truly 'live by faith' and don't involve child support court, family members, and childish antics to resolve their family affairs. 

They plan, pray, and proceed. 

I am proud to be one of the 'strong women' of God. 

I pray that going forward many of you women take heed and teach your daughters how 'precious their body is and how her life will be changed forever once she has a child' 

I pray that you men teach your boys about the dangers and consequences of making children that they aren't prepared to father with women they've never seen a future with.

Teach them one night stands, dont have to end up as 'lifetime lessons, headaches or burdens' 

If anything it should be and feel like the blessing it was intended to be! 

Not the commodity and ego stroking 

having children has become! 

Dealing with a coparent should never cause you irritation, depression, etc. but for so many it does (because of your misguided impulsive decisions) and that's why there's so many broken homes; because you have 'babies having babies' and the broken homes are the results of the tantrums they've had !

Look at your life and  that which you've displayed to and given your child or children, then think about the decisions you've made and those you've supported your child or children in making and ask yourself have I helped future generations or have I potentially set us back another 100 years or more? 

I will be one of the few breaking the generational curse of 'broken single parent homes' I am going to do my best to maintain not only my marriage, but in the event that doesn't last, my amicable partnership with my son's father because contrary to popular belief the person or persons that you have a child or children with is 'your life partner' because you are spiritually connected for life, whether you're geographically close or not... be careful who you to choose to be life partners with.... 

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY

#Autism #Technology what benefits if any have come to you as a result of your child using technology? Discuss more at:

Presence VS Presents

Merry Christmas from Tiffany and family. ��������

This is a celebration of the birth of Jesus; giving more than you receive and how he was "sacrificed" for our sins, but provided an example of obedience, faith, and salvation. That's how I remember my mother teaching me about Christmas.

This is also what we've taught Jr since he was 7 months old.

I've watched so many parents fail to teach their children what "Christmas" is truly about.

I've seen parents continue to "lie" to their children about "Santa Claus" year after year, with no remorse. Some of these same parents, then wonder why their children grow up to become liars (deceitful people)! They've been given an example......

I believe many of us, especially "single parents" are overcompensating for "things they lacked in their childhood, untimely pregnancies and failed relationship with the co- parent/ the need to appear to be the better parent by stroking your ego and reinforcing your child's false sense of entitlement because you're neglectful by putting everything as a priority over your family, especially that job you worship.

Each year Jr receives a lesson about "sacrifice" and how that blesses him continuously. He gives away his old clothes to someone in need. Jr has chores that he receives allowance for to purchase things he wants, he understands Christmas is "Jesus birthday" and your birthday is where you get "your gifts!" 

Jr knows "for Christmas" he receives "tokens of appreciation" for his "sacrifices and accomplishments" throughout the year.

It's also mandatory that we watch the story of Jesus, our home video from Christmas 2009 when Jr was just 3 years old...

We enjoy seeing how far we've come as a family, while preparing ourselves for the work and blessings that lie ahead of us.

My husband has been able to "relax and be a father" as Jr isn't like any of his other children (because of the woman I am) I refuse to allow Jr to "have a false sense of entitlement!" 

My husband's "presence" is what I've taught Jr to value over any "present" his father or I could give.

Jr loves us purely. He just loves us because as he says "we're the greatest parents ever!"

I know from my own experiences that when you teach a child to "love and respect you primarily, if not only because of what you can do for them" versus who you are to them, you'll always be "trying" to buy love and redemption and you'll continuously fail.

Your child will still "disrespect" you, your home, value system and upbringing you've instilled in them or tried to.

I'm sure many of you will shake your heads and "scream on the mountain tops I'm hating!" I "challenge" you to scream after that "your truth" behind your reason for maintaining a farce.

Trust I'm not envious and I'm not hating.

 I'm merely stating my "method of operation, my truths and my observations."

Jr is and will remain a "grateful" person.

 The best "gifts" you can give to your child is "intellect, humility, honesty and accountability!"

I'm blessed that my husband and I have given Jr the gifts of "intellect, humility, honesty and accountability!"  It's made raising him effortless but immeasurably rewarding! 

I can only "tell you" but I can't help you or make you understand.

Don't believe me, just watch the difference between Jr and your child or children going forward...

Again, (presents) "money can't buy love or redemption" money only buys "false senses of entitlement, temporary control/relevance, and instant gratification!"

Yet, "presence" earns you "pure love, longevity of gratification, and loyalty.

Learn to utilize and maximize on the potential of your "presence" versus relying on the effects of your "presents!"

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY

The Messes Of Exes

This post are for all the men and women who've had "wretched relationships" that have ultimately left their character defamed to some extents; made them feel regretful; caused them unnecessary stress; etc.

I encourage you to "remain encouraged!"

Continue being "who you are!"

Look at that person as "a lesson within a blessing!"

If you've had children with that person(s) then the children were "the blessing" within "the lesson (relationship)"

If you didn't have children with that person (s) then consider it a "blessing" across the board!

God "speaks" to all of us, usually we aren't paying attention, so obviously we don't hear him.

God doesn't wear a Rolex or a Timex, therefore he's not going to answer you "specifically" when you want or how you prefer him to.

God speaks to us in his time and in many ways. He uses people, situations, numbers, etc to communicate.

However, When you're so content on and arrogant regarding "exercising your free will" he'll step back and allow you to "fall!"

Once you've fallen, God knows on him you'll call and he'll be there.... Ready to deliver you, only if you're ready to receive deliverance.

Understand that "a lot" so approximately 50% - 80% of our problems we create by exercising free will, being forced by others, feeling a sense of obligation and all "without" seeking God's approval!

Then many of us continue to smite God by not seeking his guidance throughout our situations.

We want what we want. Placing our "demands" on others. It's funny how people who "give a little" expect "a lot!"

One thing I've learned about "the messes of exes" is "we aren't our past!" There's always someone who'll try and break you.

Usually it's the very people who've used and abused you.

These same people then go on to "ruin their children's lives, ex spouse lives.. they can't maintain any meaningful relationships outside of coworkers, family members, and childhood friends. They still can't "be respectful, responsible, honest or accountable" even when the situation calls warrants it. When you encounter them, it's like witnessing a child having a tantrum... An embarrassing, irritating ordeal. They haven't had a relationship since "you've left them alone" that lasted 5yrs + which means it's not you, it was and is... Them!

Remember "actions always prove why words mean nothing!"

Seek God. Hear God. Listen to him. Follow your heart, just take your brain with you.. I guarantee "your hearts desires" will be granted!

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY

#Autism teaching Realism through "Experiential Learning"

Since Jr was diagnosed with #Autism in "2010" I've really increased my teachings of realism through experiential learning.

I don't want Jr growing up with "a distorted perception of reality or a false sense of entitlement."

I allow Jr to make decisions to test his "knowledge and reactions" in every situation, so that going forward I'll be able to assist him in processing matters.

Jr is taught "work ethic" now because to teach him merely about "receiving incentives and rewards" will breed a false sense of entitlement, they may never be able to be reformed.

I leave toys at home often so that Jr can "learn" to process through his anxiety or suppress it (within reason). Jr actually never had a tantrum publicly, although his grunts and expressions spoke for his discontent or impatience.

Jr now can verbally express to me "Mommy are we almost finished? Mommy I want to go home."

Jr also now can express "Mommy I'm upset about....." Where at one time, he'd stomp off, slam his room door and either cry from feeling powerless I assume, destroy something or write on the wall to vent.

Once I explained to Jr that spanking him wasn't my thing because that can get out of control. I have Bipolar Disorders; so I have to find "alternative" discipline methods that don't trigger or breed my mania.

I became a new improved version of my mother.

I began to teach him "what life really is about." I made him learn that "despite your Autism" many people won't feel sorry for you; you honestly don't want them to. Others will try to hinder you because of your abilities. They'll be few who'll honestly love, support and protect you. Your father and I, after God will be your ultimate examples and givers of love, support and protection.

Jr understands in "his own way" what him having Autism and I having Bipolar Disorders means. He understands we are different. He understands it's best for us to learn how to care for ourselves because nobody will always be around to care for us. He understands things that are easy for us, may be hard for others; just as things which are hard for us, may be easy for others.

He understands doing your best is all you need to do. He understands that his father and I love and know that we are blessed with every accomplishment he makes!!

I'm ecstatic to share that yesterday Sunday, December 15, 2013 Jr cleaned his own bowel movement, entirely by himself. He was so proud of himself. So was I! This doesn't mean I can check this off my "things I'd love for Jr to do but am willing to accept what he may not be able to" list; but we're much closer than we've ever been.

I just offer to some of you "consider" being honest with your child. If we want them to be honest adults, we must teach them how to be honest children.

We can't protect them from the world; we can only prepare them for it!

"Autism isn't a disability, it's the ability to see and experience the world differently!"

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY

#Autism and artistic expression Pt. 2

Above please see the picture. 

This is "another creation," a picture frame made by Jr. 

His father and I were not only "pleased, we were impressed" by his "Artwork!" 

We do our best to encourage Jr to do art. We also do our best to accommodate his needs. 

This frame is "impressive work" because it shows that his sensory and touch issues aren't "as prevalent" as they previously were. 

Meaning "Jr used glue!!!" Jr didn't like glue "At all" a few years ago. I mean "every time" some glue would get on his fingers, he'd point or say "I need to wash my hands!" 

It also shows his level of patience, (he sat still and focused) long enough to complete it. 

It also shows that his attention to detail and his own creative expression is increasing. 

His father and I are so proud! We're going to invest in a "sketch book" as opposed to the "notebook" he's been using here at home, and see what "creations manifest" from that encouragement and support. 

WHAT I OFFER TO YOU: 

If your child is writing on the walls. Redirect that behavior, but encourage them to "write" on paper, in their notebooks etc. This is them "attempting to communicate to us, but express themselves." 

PLEASE PLEASE DON'T DECREASE THEIR SELF ESTEEM (MORALE) OR MOTIVATION, by deterring them entirely.

Also, if your child is interested in music. Buy an MP3 player for them and allow them to add their own music (With your supervision of course.) My husband bought Jr and MP3 player, since the HTC Thunderbolt phone I'd purchased has since become inoperable. 

His father and I learned that Jr actually "liked" Justin Beiber music. Then he didn't. LOL 

I honestly believe because Jr uses the tablet and computer often, but also Youtube; I believe he may have seen "the news" about Justin Beiber and the trouble he was getting into so he no longer had an interest. 

It could also be attributed to the fact that children with Autism, especially Jr the jittery "Gemini" LOL he "quickly" loses interests in things. 

Don't be afraid to "look stupid or goofy" in front of or around them. Do some "role playing" like they do in school during their center times. Create your own games based on their interests. 

For example, my husband and I will play "ignorant" and ask Jr a series of questions about his favorite cartoon or movie characters. He doesn't even know we're testing and teaching at the same time. 

He also doesn't realize that "reading the information bar" at the bottom of the screen as the news airs; is "speed reading" that he's teaching himself to do. 

REMEMBER .... 

"Autism isn't a disability; it's the ability to see and experience the world differently!" 


HBIC_PHILANTHROPY