#Candid Children VS Adults

Sometimes you have to "address" or even "acknowledge" certain people and situations. However, what you "DON'T" ever have to do is "change" who you are to accommodate another person or situation! "Children" (immature and ignorant ppl) will NEVER understand the lifestyle, thoughts, intentions, and accomplishments of an "Adult" a mature, confident intelligent person!  

#CANDID There's levels to this...... Maturity or Lack thereof

Please see the example I created. These "in my experience and opinion" are "the levels" in which one must advance in order to reach the top "maturity" and all that it entails.... which is the ultimate goal upon reaching adulthood. 

This post, wasn't going to be written. I'd thought and thought and thought..... about several matters that could've lead me to write this months, even years ago; however I averted. 

Today...... that all changed in a matter of "1 hour." 

I was requested online by people I know care nothing for or about me. 

I was "critiqued and attacked over the phone, based upon being watched online."

I'm not the "victim playing type"

First off, I couldn't believe that I was being "friend requested on Facebook by people that I'd already un-friend and moved on from." I'm trying to understand "WTF do ya'll want now?" Ya'll have ignored me and been distant for years..... so....... what ... now? 

Then......

I get a phone call that I was initially "excited" about accepting, because I don't speak to or text this person as frequently as I used to...... 

but within the first 3 seconds I immediately sensed (I felt sick and irritated) something was wrong.... then she spoke.... and had you heard what "I heard" you'd know "this broad is off her fucking rocker!"

She literally made me "sick" 

Like right now, I'm getting my stomach in order because once I'm upset..... my body is upset and I realized that "90% of my interactions with her, she's upsetting me in one form or another" 

THAT SHIT STOPS TODAY "PERMANENTLY" 

So after "entertaining" her "childish antics" YET AGAIN, the call ended quickly because her voice was not only irritating, her fucking attitude hasn't changed, she "CAN'T" be as happy as she claims to be; because if she is "she wouldn't have read that deep into something I wrote on a post, to the extent she had to call and question me about it." 

Especially since I'm a woman of my word and two years ago "we squashed that" and I made it clear as long as "no more threats or comments are made from EITHER PARTY" then I'm good and I have no hard feelings. 

Apparently "the little girl in her, that's insecure, paranoid, conniving and a battlerant" wasn't convinced, because "obviously" she still harbors an abundance of discontent for my cousin, her ex husband and our entire family.... and would "give anything to have an opportunity to physically express and display it"

AS SHE DID BY CALLING ME WITH ALL THAT DAMNED NOISE IN MY FUCKING EAR!

UGH! 

This broad get's off on "fighting in the street and having a public display of her ghetto skills in fighting" so I have to accept that she's NOT the woman "I thought" she'd become. 

She's still a little girl, who doesn't know "her place" in the world.

She thinks she does, but she doesn't. 

I've yet to see her handle a situation "100% diplomatically" because even in our phone call she hung up "as if she'd accomplished something or checked me!" 

You're funny as shit for that LMAO 

I "gave her" an opportunity to "rectify" the bullshit reason for calling me, by asking her "so is that the only reason you MADE time to call me?" She never directly answered me but did say "yeah I'm just trying to make sure we're good.. blah.. blah.." 

IDK I stopped listening to her after she'd repeated herself the second time AFTER I made it clear AGAIN that the post wasn't about her or her sister.. 

It was funny to me "Because she really thinks she's that important" 

CHILD PLEASE

I THOUGHT YOU HAD "BUSINESS" 

I THOUGHT YOU "WERE RIDING AROUND AND GETTING IT" 

SO DON'T WATCH TIFFANY WATCH TV! 

Because as you were talking "I was deleting and blocking you boo!" 

All I waited for was for you to hang up, and then your number(s) were also blocked! 

All her "guilt" is going to have her making a lot more phone calls like the one she made to me today

I realized she, her sister and the two other fakebook folks , and a couple more people.... LITERALLY ..... have been sitting, waiting and watching..... calculating their moment to "have it up or show out" and

I AM NOT THE ONE! 

People see me and really don't know. 

You don't want to see my "dark side" if you've never seen it.  

I want people to "know when to burn a bridge and clear the area!" This bridge with her was already burned on one end, we were attempting to "salvage" what remained or "restored" what couldn't be salvaged.

I AM DONE WITH ALL THE AFOREMENTIONED PEOPLE! 

SO "DULY NOTE" THIS .... WE ARE STRANGERS! 

I AM A WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO BABYSIT OR ENTERTAIN CHILDREN! 


If there's people in your life that "literally" make you upset and irritated. You've realized that with them "it's always something!" 

Then those are people (relationships) that you have to get rid of. 

I don't care who it is, how much you love or care for them, or even want them around... when you have a "negative" person in your life, it's time to eliminate them! 


HBIC_PHILANTHROPY

#PSA #Autism #SpecialEvents #Holidays

Above is a picture I created that "depicts" what can happen. 

In my experience "verbal" children with Autism like Jr can be assisted and accommodated a little better than children who are "non verbal." I don't have any "direct" experience with children who are non-verbal. I have offered advice to my friends and from the responses I've received it's helped them "a little bit" however we are all aware that they may require "professional help and guidance to be 100% effective." 

I've learned that not all "special events or holidays" will be able to be celebrated. For those that we do partake in, it's important to keep the time frame to a minimum and prepare ourselves for the worst; while expecting the best. 

I haven't taken Jr to a family event since the summertime. 

Mainly because "everyone's parenting isn't feasible in regards to his needs and our preferences." 

For example, I have family and friends that have a tendency to "discipline other people's children without justifiable cause, reasonable tactics or empathy" and that will NOT work with Jr or for me/his father. 

It will not work with Jr, because he doesn't "know" you. He also "seeks" my approval, because I taught him to do so (When he's not at school). 

I prefer "people" to inform me before speaking to or redirecting Jr, because they may be "chastising or disciplining" him for something that's directly characteristic of his Autism; nothing more and nothing less. I try not to be overbearing because as he get's older "he can and he does, speak for himself!" I must protect him and educate them "At all times!" 

In addition, I also have family and friends who have a tendency to "yell" at their children. Don't get me wrong I have my moments "where I too yell" yet Jr "understands that I yell out of frustration, rather than discontent" and he's accustomed to my parenting. However it's infrequent that I'm directing that tone towards Jr. 

I'll tell Jr "Mommy is in a bad head space, or Mommy's serious" so that he'll know it's time for him to go into his room and give me some space so I can regroup. 

Jr can't "take noise." He can't take any kind of noise, especially loud noises whether it's a voice, sound from a tv, machine, etc. I have had to "adjust" my voice to accommodate his needs and to support my parenting skills. 

Lights can also be an issue. There's often times where we have to come inside because the natural sunlight is bothering him and his sunglasses simply aren't enough to protect him. Then we have frequent occasions where we "turn out the lights in the room he's occupying" so that his eyes can rest and he won't be irritated. It's irritating because I'm beyond embarrassment, when people stare or "question" why he's wearing them. 

Food "is also an issue" my family and friends ALL cook with "garlic!" My husband is allergic to garlic and beef so my son and I rarely consume it. Jr is accustomed to eating Turkey, Chicken, Fish and Pork with little to no seasoning. He has sensory and touch issues which means that if the food doesn't "look, feel, or smell" right then he won't eat it. 

I have tried for years to "make" Jr eat when we're out. He will not do it; unless "he's actually hungry or the food is prepared to his liking."

Honestly, I am "tired and done with" arguing or telling people that he's okay. 

I have gotten to the point where I don't want to take him places because it's easier than having my "parenting, his eating habits, etc." questioned or challenged. 

As his mother that loves him dearly, I should never be in "a place emotionally" where I "avoid" taking my son with me places simply to avoid "adults ignorance or insensitivity."

With all that being said.... as badly as I wanted to "be around" my family or my husband's family; it simply isn't feasible or realistic at this time. 

For Thanksgiving we had "quality over quantity" and only a few of my inlaws came over. 

I enjoyed it because even though Jr was "anxious" he remained in his room "his comfort zone" during the majority of their visit. He came down a few times and spoke, engaged his older cousin for about 15 minutes, then he came to bid everyone farewell at the end of the night. It was "great!" 

It was great, because his father and I didn't have to worry about "where he was, who was watching or listening out for him" we also didn't have to worry about him wandering off, or getting frustrated; because he's at home "his ultimate comfort zone!" 

So I offer you this: 

1. Create a plan of action for the event you plan on attending. So if it's indoors "ensure you have ear buds" or something that they enjoy that can "occupy" them or "suppress" sound. If it's outdoors, make sure you have their favorite snack, plenty of water, etc.. to accommodate their wants and needs! 

2. Stand your ground in regards to "your parenting based on their characteristics" don't let anyone make you feel bad and don't let anyone challenge you. 

3. Make it clear to the people you're visiting with that "leaving early" will be a "new norm" for you and your family due to their characteristics. 

4. Remind people that "physical disciplining I.e., spanking" will NOT prevent or STOP a meltdown. Nor will it "redirect" a behavior. Trust me, I've tried with Jr. He became accustomed to me popping him on his hand, so he learned to "tolerate" the pain and he also learned to "expect it" so he eventually became immune to it. The only form of "discipline" that works is "taking away privileges" because the yelling and fussing only "irritates him and makes him sleepy." I've seen him "literally" change his behavior once he realizes his "technology" time has been limited or completely taken away. 

5. Don't be afraid to "ex-communicate" from family and friends who "do not" have children or individuals with "Special Needs" in their family unit. I say that because "birds of a feather flock together." I've been dedicating my time to "making time" for friends of mine that also have "Bipolar" and their children they have conditions such as Autism, ADD, ADHD, to name a few. I'm doing that "going forward" in his life, because he needs that and so do I. Even with our frustration as parents, it works out because we're all leading similar if not identical lifestyles. We understand each other. We support each other. We are each other. 

I want you to know that you are loved, understood, wanted and needed! 

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY 

#Candid Children as Commodities and Liabilities; instead of a gift from God

MrsTiffany Hbic White Right but the reality is UNTIL ppl, especially the women who give birth to them STOP treating them as "commodities" which ALWAYS results in them being treated like a "liability" when things don't go as planned and treat them like "gifts" from God; as God intended them to be, then and only then can a difference begin to be made. 

Not to mention, women need to stop playing the damned blame game so much, b/c "quiet as kept" we hold 98% of the power (that's what my mother taught me), the man's sperm is only 2% b/c without the egg, womb, and strength/nourishment of the woman carrying that child or children, that sperm is worthless! 

If WOMEN made intellectual decisions vs entitlement based and sexual decisions, the world would be a better place... SMH I could go on for days but this won't happen until "everyone" takes responsibility for their part in the matter and not only makes a decision to correct it, but stands by that decision through action

Here's an inside look at a Facebook conversation that took place around this very topic! 

• 
  MrsTiffany Hbic White My reality is what it is! I refuse to blame anyone, even my husband for anything surrounding our son. I made a "conscious" decision to have a child knowing who I was, who he was and all that we both came with.
• 8 minutes ago · Like
•  I can't say the same for other women. that's why "my reality" allows me to state that I'm 98% and his sperm was 2% because without my "approval and carrying out of the pregnancy" that sperm wouldn't have meant anything but another fun ass night! 
• The fact that "I" chose to "allow" his sperm to not only fertilize an egg, but I allowed that egg to grow and mature, gave me the power, because men can't be fathers without women first deciding to be mothers, otherwise it's only "sex"..... that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.. I'm not going to be that woman that says "he got me pregnant, he anit shit, he don't want the baby, etc.." CU 
• 
  
• 

  CU I am in no way trying to de-value the woman's role, nor am I going to accept the devaluation of the man's role...

  6 minutes ago · Unlike · 2
• however society has it "twisted" right now.....you say you don't want women to treat their kids as commodities, yet you are giving values to the factors that = kid..........egg without sperm = extinction..
• 
  
• 

  Ha i feel u on that cuzn bcause i often say that women carry the burdon of having babies.......

  6 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
• 
  
• 

  MrsTiffany Hbic White CU I'm giving "factors" for the "sole purpose" of making a point. 

  2 minutes ago · Like
• A lot of parents, specifically women aren't "adequate" in regards to their parenting and that's because the "factor" is already embedded within their spirit, therefore it manifest in their behavior. 
• I don't want to "De-value" the man's role either, however in equating his sperm to 2% of the reproduction process is an effort to have the "women be held accountable" for their pregnancies! 
• Because again If we as women chose to have children for "the right reasons which from what I was taught and have learned through my own experiences are: love, carrying out God's plan being fruitful and multiplying" not so he can stay, not so I can get a check, etc... 
• then I wouldn't have to use those % to get my point across... but women blame men and I just don't get that part at all! I've avoided numerous pregnancies and heartaches by making "intelligent timely decisions" 
• 
• CU ok

  about a minute ago · Unlike ·1
• 
  MrsTiffany Hbic White CU  All I'm saying is "we as women" need to do better. We lay down and then we can't step up when needed!
• a few seconds ago · Like

What is your opinion on our opinions and experiences? What is your opinion? What kind of experience(s) have you had or are having? Do you as the mother or father or your child view or treat them as a commodity, liability, or gift from God? 

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY 

#Candid NO MORE MANNEQUINS ONLY ORIGINALS!

HBIC_PHILANTHROPY♍ @HBIC_TIFFANY now
“Whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free. . . your true self comes out.” — Tina Turner

I "honestly" can't believe that "people I've ex-communicated from even "dare" be on my line. 

I removed them from all my online profiles (virtually) to see if those I believed were "friends" had a sincere interest in salvaging what's left of our friendship in reality. 

A few have yet to contact me directly via phone by placing a voice call or sending a text, yet  "like" my public status updates; "follow" me anywhere I have a page, some are following me straight up, others are stalking me indirectly via other people's pages and directly by being a ghost follower snooping around on my profiles.

However, their on my line heavy! Why be on my line if you don't value my presence or my time?
I don't understand people like that. I NEVER will, because they make absolutely no sense and that to me is conniving .

The people that I "don't fuck with" I don't fuck with "in any aspect." 

Meaning I DON'T like any of their statuses, pics, etc.. because I'm no longer on their line and I no longer concern myself with the contents of their lines!

I DON'T socialize with mutual friends purposely, IF I happen to, the people that I don't fuck with aren't discussed or mentioned, unless someone initiates the conversation regarding them, or I'm making a "Factual" point regarding a specific topic.

Even then I don't divulge pertinent details about that person and I relationship. 

I'm at a point in my life where I need people to be "consistent" no I don't have to speak to or see you everyday, however speaking to you at least 4 months out of 12months would be nice, and seeing you can be based on our schedules, lifestyles, and desires!

Now I'm "politely" requesting "again" that people STOP bullshitting with me! 

Either you're with me or you're against me, but I don't do motherfuckers "hanging on the fence with me" NOT in any aspect! 

Don't come fucking with me, once you realized I give 0 fucks about you! 

Make your mind up on where you stand with me, before you communicate with me directly or stalk/obsess over me indirectly.

I'm NOT the one to play ANY games with, because I've "fallen back" and removed myself, don't come fucking with me, if you weren't, aren't, and don't intend on being "loyal to me!" — feeling angry

I HATE MANNEQUINS! If you're only here "for display" then you're not the one for me! 

I need people who are "100% accountable, loyal, consistent and honest" not conniving, insecure and opportunistic! — feeling safe.


HBIC_PHILANTHROPY